I have had an inflatable globe for several years. It has helped me when searching for obscure countries described in the news. Or working out how the earth’s tilt affects seasons, just one last time before I forget again. Somehow the three dimensional view of planet earth is so much more interesting than those flattened impressions in books.

But, and here comes the problem, it lately started to deflate. A few days after blowing it up from the convenient valve in the north pole, my planet earth has begun to sag. And like all people who tend to think in metaphors, this elementary story made me explore in my mind how the real planet earth is beginning to sag. I mean, how much more damage can it take? After 2016 was measured to be the hottest in the last 800,000 years few can still support the argument against climate by saying change is normal. Of course change is normal; that is not what is being measured. What is apparent is a significant sag in the jowls. She’s looking like an old lady this wonderful planet of ours although she still has millions of years to live. The presence of these little things called humans is a thorn in her side and she is losing puff.

We can see this in many ways. One is the issue of ‘light pollution’. Photographs from near earth orbit taken of the parts of the globe in darkness, reveal a terrible beauty. Parts of Europe appear to be in the midst of fire-storms,. Cities and conurbations lurk in the centre of fibre optic pathways of light leading to phosphorescent coastal fringes. So much so that animals, insects and plants, living in those areas are confused in their diurnal cycles. Trees are coming to leaf too early.

And yet, of all the ‘environmental problems’ which land on ministers desks with an estimate or invoice attached, this is one of the cheapest to fix. We don’t need a lot of the light, for instance. It’s just light spilt from badly designed luminaires. Levels of light needed are assumed to be high, when in fact the human eye needs contrast rather than a lot of light. Many people feel unsafe in dark streets, and yet if they examined the situation more rationally, they might be safer in the dark. No one can see you in the dark. When I was in the army we learnt to operate in darkness. In training we had to polish our black boots in total darkness whilst maintaining an all round defensive position in a wood.

Getting used to less light is a small ask and actually, a cost saving measure. Until those who make decisions on our behalf can do the easy environmental fixes, how are they ever going to find the intention and the means to fix the big stuff? Trumpty Dumpty will have to maintain email links with his ‘climate change denial’ chums because it suits American big business.

I wonder if he was somehow propelled into space and looked down at a deflating earth, whether this change of view, would change his view on the global issue that generations of earthlings are spinning towards at astronomical speeds. Will he cry when he sees the half deceased Great Barrier Reef; the largest half living thing visible from spance?

Perhaps the scariest aspect of the dying earth scenario is the current plan to move to Mars.

The argument is that this is what man has always done. Explored. That is true in the historical situations when people could ‘go west’ into pristine, unspoilt lands. But that isn’t possible any longer. The people of Easter Island, knocked down all the trees and died out because there was nowhere else they could go. Mars is a similar Ocean away and unsuitable for sustained life. It is not heaven. Heaven is here on earth.

As a footnote I will say that at the north pole, we still have a quick fix. Pull out the stopper, blow into it and put the stopper back in tight. It worked on my globe for a few days.