Some people known as the ‘death doulas’ are determined to break down the barriers that make ‘death’ a taboo subject. There is a place called the ‘death café’ where people who are dying, meet the ‘death doulas’. On the menu are the following genuine questions;
(source; The Guardian Newspaper Wed 3rd Feb 2016 article ‘Meet the Death Doulas’)
The answers are completely vacuous but intended to bring a scythe-like smile.
What makes a good death?
Taking out a law suit against Microsoft for using the message fatal error in Windows 10, applying for life insurance, applying for bankruptcy, buying a brewery, pretending to die several times in front of your relatives, access to plenty of cushions,
Can you prepare for death and dying?
Disable the air bags in your car, build a pyramid, pack a suitcase, learn the harp, enter a burning building without protective equipment to get an idea of ‘the other place’, empty the fridge, don’t buy green bananas, more cushions
What do you say to a friend who is facing death?
‘Cheer up,’ ‘I have to confess everything,’ ‘Well I am sorry I just thought a chicken costume would brighten your day,’ ‘weather is going to be better by next week,’ ‘ever thought of becoming a vegetarian?’ ‘I’m visiting you from now on – your husband has gone on a cruise,’ ‘ The hospice wants to start a bagpipe band,’ ‘ The Mafia are after me; would you live in my flat for a short while?’ ‘ The hospital are submitting their success rate figures this week. You’ve got to leave.’ ‘Sorry I gave you a shock – this scythe is for cutting the grass this afternoon.’ ‘Do you want a cushion? ‘
What can we learn from death?
The Highway Code is not as stupid as it seems, do not trust bungee jump instructors, some food is not as good as it looks, commercial airlines do not carry parachutes, tattoo your intended last words on your wrist, death is not all it’s cracked up to be, if I had gone to university what good would it do me now? Cushions are a blessing,
What does it mean to leave a legacy?
Empty the rubbish bins, mow the lawn, publish your school poems as an e-book, publish everything as an e-book, someone else is going to have to put those shelves up now – Someone else will like that pile of cushions.
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